Photo by Omid Armin
Anxiety is a bitch.
I’ve suffered from anxiety since I was 6 years old.
In fact, as I write this blog post, I’m experiencing a heightened anxious moment. It’s become so part of my life, that I don’t remember not being anxious.
General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) affects about 7 million people in the United States, and that number refers to diagnosed cases. It’s different than just being worried, and I wish more people understood that. There are so many myths about anxiety. People often assume we just have one panic attack after the other. That’s not the case, usually. More often than not, it’s obsessive thinking, worst-case scenario, over-preparedness and the inability to stop the worry cycle even though your logic tells you that your reaction is unwarranted.
What does General Anxiety Feel Like?
It’s leaving the house, getting to your car, and wondering if you left the light on in your bathroom.
It’s thinking that it’s going to make the bulb blow out, or raise your electricity bill, or attract unwanted attention. It’s having to fight the urge to turn back and check. It’s calling and texting to see if anyone is at home and can check for you. It’s a feeling of dread and a cycle of self-admonishment: you need to be more careful. How could you leave the light on? It’s having social interactions and being only 45% present because you’re just waiting to get home to see if the light is on. It’s feeling exhausted from the most simple of activities. It’s your heart beating faster as you fumble to put the keys in the door. It’s a sigh when you see the light is in fact turned off, and a feeling of shame and sadness that you let something so trivial dominate and overshadow your entire day.
My anxiety is this at times. Nevertheless, it also makes me productive, detail-oriented, careful and meticulous. With work and friendships, I’m very high-functioning. I don’t miss meetings, or forget to send emails; I check in with people often, and send thoughtful messages to let people know they’re on my mind.
I’m a textbook, type A, over-achiever. I was very much of the school of thought that I could simply “wish it away”. It being my anxiety, of course. Since it led to passing exams, securing internships, and high-praise at work, it couldn’t be that bad, right? Welp, not exactly. (That’s a whole other blog post)
Obviously, at some point I decided that meditation was something worth considering, as this post is about Insight timer.
What is Insight Timer?
It’s a free app (with an option for a premium version) which offers thousands of guided meditations, courses, live events (like yoga classes) and music.
There’s also a timer feature which attracted me to the app to begin with. I remember working at my marketing job, feeling overwhelmed, then taking very frequent bathroom breaks to slow breathe for 2 minutes.
It really ticks all my anxiety boxes: you reach milestones the more you meditate, you can track your streaks, there’s a way to neatly organize your favorite meditations, and the community feature share with you how many people meditated alongside you which is oddly comforting.
They’ve recently been adding celebrities to the app. Idiris Elba, for example, who tells bedtime stories, or Russell Brand, who often gives talks on finding serenity and balance in life. That’s cute, but I go there for other features.
It’s also free. I don’t think that obtaining tools to assist in mental health, or health in general, should come at a premium.
Since there are thousands of options to choose from, and if you’re anxious like me, too much choice will probably lead you to feeling exhausted and giving up. I’ve done some of the sorting for you.
Here are my favorite meditations on Insight Timer for anxiety:
……………..
For Sleep: A Walk in Nature (Sarah Blondin)
I fell in love with this meditation when she said: “Come now dear one to rest your tired bones and body. You’ve done so well today walking in the world. You’ve tried as best you can to put one foot in front of the other”
Ugh.
I listen to this meditation almost every night. I listen to it so much, it’s a shortcut on my iPhone when it tells me to go to bed.
It’s only 20 minutes, but I don’t think I’ve ever finished it. I’m always fast asleep a couple minutes into the meditation.
Type: Short Story
Time: 20 Minutes
For Panic Attacks: Hymn of Healing (Beautiful Chorus)
This meditation feels like a weighted blanket with a splash of hypnosis. I listen to this instead of say, lying on the floor and swimming in my own tears, for example.
It’s beautiful. It’s so simple. It’s a mantra which is sung by angels, truly.
Before I know it, I’m repeating the words:
“I am a radiate being of light and healing. I feel peace. I am safe I heal from a whole place.”
That’s it. That’s the entire meditation. The repetition however, is so comforting and hypnotic, you can’t help but start saying these amazingly powerful words to yourself.
Type: Music
Time: 8 minutes
For a Quick Reminder: I am Safe (Shakti Shutriasa)
I use this meditation to end my yoga practices. It combines well with deep breathing and a reaffirming, reassuring mantra.
Confession: I sometimes need to be reminded to breathe.
This meditation makes me feel centered and grounded, and I never regret doing it post-yoga.
Type: Guided meditation
Time: 5 minutes
Work + Productivity: Float (Aaron Darrell)
I built this website while listening to this meditation on repeat.
While I’m the first person to subscribe to Chill Tracks on Spotify or Poolside Vibes-type playlist, sometimes I need less boom-boom-splat!-boom, and more, well, chill vibes with no lyrics. It’s perfect to play in the background of doing almost anything. It’s not elevator music, so you won’t fall asleep either. Although, if you did, that’s okay. Rest your tired bones, as Sarah Blondin says.
Type: Music
Time: 44 minutes
Power Nap: Sound Bath Singing Bowls (Mile Hi Church)
I work a lot. I worry a lot. I get tired a lot.
Thank God for the power nap.
Don’t sleep on the sound bath experience! Tibetan singing bowls have been a tradition for centuries, and for a reason!
There are no lyrics. No distractions. Just calming sounds.
Tip: this type of music is better with headphones!
Type: Tibetan singing bowls
Time: 16 minutes
Bonus: Deep Sleep (Chris Collins)
When I know that 20 minutes with my girl Sarah Blondin won’t cut it, I turn to Chris Collins. Insight Timer will stop playing after an hour more, post-meditation, of inactivity. This is my turn-this-on-and-fall-asleep music.
Type: Sounds
Time: 69 minutes
Anxiety doesn’t have a cure. It doesn’t.
There are medications, yes. There’s therapy, yes. There are coping mechanisms like meditation and journaling and breath work, but unfortunately, most of us are in this for the long haul. I hope these meditations and this music makes you feel light(er).
