Photo by Brandy Kennedy
Can you… can you see my screen?
Zoom is dope.
Zoom came in, the lesser-known, often-forgotten, cousin of Skype, and changed the entire way we communicate. I love Zoom’s story! The founder of Zoom was rejected for a US visa 8 whole times.
Message: Success stories don’t happen over-night. He’s now a billionaire…so, there’s that!
Zoom was never as popular as Skype or Google Hangouts until, well, she upped her game, straightened out her wig, and took the world by storm.
Zoom— in case you opted to go underground when the pandemic hit—which is totally understandable— is a video conferencing app which used to be used in more business settings.
When all our social interactions went virtual, Zoom adapted and you can see everyone from your dermatologist to your grandma to your college professor on Zoom.
There have been some really funny— and some times grossly horrifying— stories coming out regarding Zoom mishaps.
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We have the working dad, and his kid in the background who was snatched up with the quickness by Supermom. Classic!
There’s the man who was caught— practicing “self-love”— in the middle of a work meeting. Ew.
Most recently, you have the lawyer who had to present his final remarks while using a cat filter. Cute? Yes. Professional? Not really.
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What is Zoom Etiquette?
It’s the new virtual social code we live by. When the world was forced to adapt as quickly as it had to in 2020, some messages may have fallen through the cracks.
So, yes, Lisa, your cat is cute, but we’re going over the budget for Q2 right now, so it’s not the time, mmkay?
“Zoom etiquette is our chance to all get on the same page. ”
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Zoom Do's and Don’ts
DO: Use the Waiting Room
There’s nothing worse than joining a meeting, and interrupting the previous one. Hosts, turn on the waiting room function. Not only can you control who enters your room, and when; you also prevent any awkward and unnecessary overlap.
DON’T: Show up half-dressed
Ugh, that is so April 2020…. like who are you even? Yes, the camera shows from the shoulders up. What happens however, if your door bell rings? What if you need to run to let someone in, or receive a package and you stand up wearing some tattered, five-year-old Spongebob boxers?
DO: Use the correct name
I get it: Zoom premium costs money. Perhaps you’re sharing it with your boyfriend, cousin and your godmom. But if you rock up to a meeting and you look like an Ashley, but your name says Marcus Washington, that’s confusing. We already may or may not know everyone on the call, and no one wants to call you the wrong name.
Make our jobs easier, please and thank you. Help us, help you.
DON’T: Use corny backgrounds
That shit is distracting. Whenever you move, we always get a peek of what’s going on to the left of your arm. Also, it leaves me wondering the whole time: what are they hiding? (lol) Listen, before Zoom, my students and colleagues would never have known what my home looked like. It’s most certainly an adjustment on all fronts. Nevertheless, we are all out here being vulnerable inviting people into our homes!
Don’t be that person, John, we know you’re in Newark, not on a breezy beach in Hawaii.
DO: Mute your mic
If there are more than 4 people in your call, mute your mic to decrease background noise. You don’t need to announce it: we all see the red mic next to your (correctly spelt) name. Just please, don’t forget to un-mute yourself when you do speak. It’ll save you the trouble of having to repeat yourself, and us the trouble as asking: Can you hear her? Is she on mute? You’re on mute, Lisa.
DON’T: Share your whole ass screen!
My God! No one needs to know that you have a Pokémon desktop background, or that you have a folder on your desktop listed as: “cute puppies”. There is a function to only share a window or a browser: USE THAT.
“If you hit ‘share’ then yes. Yes, we can all see your screen, Megan”
DO: Use the chat feature
Level of expertise: high.
I use the chat to write down my ideas so that I don’t lose my train of thought. Before you hit ‘enter’, make sure you are sending what you want to send to the whole group.
Private chats:
Use them, but don’t get too distracted by them. If your mic isn’t muted, we can hear you typing. If your camera is on, we can see you holding in a weird laugh-smile.
It’s obvious that whatever graph Peter is presenting is not that funny….
Warning: if you use a private chat, make sure that you respond in private lest your shit-talking be made public for the whole room to read.
DON’T: Be too frugal to invest in proper lighting
The light of your screen is not enough. I repeat: the light of your screen is not enough.
Ring lights. Get one. Turn it on. Be visible.
Like it or not, Zoom is how we’re making first—sometimes only—impressions. Do you really want to be a pixelated blob, with a dog barking in the background, wearing leopard bike shorts and a silk blouse, all while sitting in front of a Shakespearean grand library we all know isn’t real? Probs not.
BONUS: DON’T Be too polite
For the love of all things good: someone say something! I get it: you accidentally spoke at the same time, but does that mean we’re damned to be in this loop of, “no, you go, it’s ok.” “no, you first!”
”Go! Just go! I don’t got all day”
- Black girls to other black girls playing double dutch circa 1998
