This is a story about the false sense of security that comes with being comfortable.
I learned this lesson from my puppy. He’s a smart boi.
Have you ever seen a young pup try to conquer stairs for the first time?
Their level of skepticism is on 100.
They stretch out their bodies, tap ever so lightly to see where the ground ends, and the “giant abyss waiting to absorb them whole” aka, the next stair, begins.
Their neck gets long, their eyes may even bulge as if that will help them see better.
Now, we know that it’s literally just a stair. We know that they won’t tumble into oblivion. I mean, it’s what, 4 inches? Maybe 5?
It’s not just because we have hooman brains. It’s because of our perspective. We see a stair for what it is. We’re not on eye level with said stair. We can see where it begins and ends.
Side note, I often wondered as a kid, while being forced to run up and down the soccer field, how large and tiring it must be for an ant. Like, can you imagine looking at the stop sign on the corner and it literally feeling like two galaxies away? Perspective.
Bringing it back.
This got me thinking…
How close have I been to something incredible, something beyond my wildest dreams, that was just 2cm higher than where I’d so happily made my “nest” and settled into, but that I failed to see because of perspective?
Here’s an example from my own life.
I worked at a private English academy in Spain for many years. It was in a stunning, central neighborhood. My salary was—all things considered—quite good! They even gave us Christmas hampers! I thought, wow, this is the life, right?
I was working 25 hours a week, spending 1,5 hours a day on travel and didn’t work past 16h (usually). It was a bilingual position, which i loved. I’d been there for years! They paid on time, and I knew what to expect each month.
I settled into what I thought was a best case scenario.
When I got hired by my first tech company, I almost said no.
Why? Because it’d mean becoming a registered freelancer in Spain. I’d have to pay monthly fees to social security, declare my taxes quarterly, and invoice, yuck, every single month.
In my mind, that was a ceiling. A terracotta paneled roof that I couldn’t break through. Solid. Hard stop. Period, end of sentence.
I told my aunt that I wasn’t going to take the job because 1/4 of my salary would go towards freelancer fees.
And she said…
”And the other 3/4? That’s more than what you would have if you didn’t take the job, right?”
Ma’am.
Her perspective shifted my perspective. She didn’t see a roof, a ceiling, a hard stop. She saw a curb. All I needed to do was lift my right foot, step up and keep walking.
LAWD!
What happened next? I said ‘yes’ and worked backwards.
Have you ever told yourself something so many times you thought for sure that it was true? Yeah…
My excuse: I can’t take this job because I’ll have to invoice every month.
Reality: I never wrote a single invoice. We used Deel, a program which makes remote team payments easier. Transferwise here, and a few clicks there, and the money just showed up in my account.
My excuse: 1/4 of my salary will go to fees.
Reality: Since the last time I was freelance was over 4 years ago (almost to the day) I qualified for 1 year of payments at 60€ a month. Whaaa??!!
My excuse: I don’t like numbers. Taxes are going to be hard. I’m American, but my tax residency is Spain.
Reality: I hired an accountant to *cough * first back file my US taxes * cough * then handle the American side. (Write about US taxes here!) and I hired a Spanish accountant to: register me as a freelancer, answer all my questions—there were many— and declare my taxes both annually and quarterly. I pay the Spanish accountants monthly, but guess what? I have peace of mind, and all my work is above board.
My excuse: I can’t leave my teaching job! They’ll hate me! My students will never learn the present perfect! I need this indefinite contract to prove I’m an upstanding member of Spanish society!
Reality: My academy moved on. My students still don’t know the present perfect, but the one’s I was close with, well, we laugh about that and more over drinks outside the classroom. Oh, and keep that contract. When you make money, you make money. So, a contract worth X is not as valuable as a proven track record of making 5 x X!
My excuse: If I make money, the student loan hounds will find me! * cries in broke bish *
Reality: We’re in a panorama, and those payments have been suspended until May 2022, so cross that bridge when it comes.
My puppy saw Niagara falls, I saw a stair.
I saw a ceiling, my aunt saw a curb. Or a hiccup. Or a comma. Whatever! You get the idea.
“What if something remarkable and transformational is simply a kitten heel away?”
I’m not saying that you should never feel safe, satisfied or comfortable. Nor am I saying that as soon as you get one job, you should look for a “better” one.
I try to practice gratitude at every stage.
What I’m trying to say is that our natural inclination is to stay safe. To stick with the familiar. To avoid the guessing and twists and turns at all costs.
To do that we make excuses. We turn curbs into 10-foot walls and convince ourselves that we could never climb that high anyway.
What if it’s not a 10ft wall? What if it’s a baby-step to the left? A tippy-toe to the right? What if something remarkable and transformational is simply a kitten heel away?
If I hadn’t pushed myself just a little to the left, and reached just an eency weency bit higher, I wouldn’t have discovered this dope ass party that is working for yourself, setting your own rates, choosing your clients, deleting Zoom from your computer, baking vegan pies midday instead of being glued to your desk, and I’m eternally grateful.
The only way I can describe it is:
Think M. Night. Shyamalan “The Village”: “Wait, y’all got cars, wifi and electricity out there?”
Think Kimmy Schmidt: wait, so the world didn’t end, and I can leave this musty ass bunker?
Think seeing your 8th grade Social Studies teacher at the bar, like, “oh you drink Moscow Mules and don’t just wear sweater vests?”
Think trying to find a book using the crusty dusty Dewey Decimal system versus using Google or Amazon.
When I close my eyes, and really try to put the experience in words it’s like thinking that the clouds are the toppest of the top, and then getting on a plane and realizing there’s more sky above the clouds. Does that make sense?
Who woulda thunk it??!!
So if you think you can see the clouds, no matter how fluffy they are, pop your head in and see if there’s more up there… you know, just in case!
I pray that like myself, you’re pleasantly surprised at what you discover.
